The romantic me...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007 &

liars, liars, LIARS!!!!!!! i really hate them.. i cant believe it! promised to let me study but in the end, break their promise.. how can they do this to me?? yeah its true, i'm not their real daughter.. but they themselves promised that they will take care of me, treat me nicely.. WTF?!?!?! in the end this is how they treat me..

fine! fine! FINE!!! after that thing's over, i'll leave home and never ever come back to this horrible. terrible, torturing house!!! i hate my life!! i HATE it alot!!! tried cutting myself, hurting myself but its just no use.. no use at all.. until the day i met him, he's the only one that i can trust, who can give me happiness..

ever since that thing happened, i no longer trust anyone.. it took me a long time to trust back again.. and when i've set my heart on trusting them, they hurt me.. time and time again and again.. right now, there is only one persin that i trust... its him..only him...no one else..

Thursday, August 9, 2007 &

*yawn~~* didnt sleep the whole night hahas.. was watching 仙剑奇侠传 (Chinese Paladin) hahas.. its so nice to watch.. hmmm..well, staying up the whole night was partially because i wanna sleep in the morning at the same time as my dear dear hahas.. he's working night shift thats why..

he did ask me to go sleep but i dont want haha.. well, what can i say? i love him too much and i'm a stubborn girl.. haha.. not really that stubborn.. just a little thats all heeee~~~

went to my dentist a few days back to extract my wisdom tooth cause its causing me too much pain, trouble and sleepless nights.. BUT!!!! the doctor says that i've got to wait for another 3 more months before i can extract it out.. its to pervent even more pain.. *sigh* i guess i really have to wait then..

felix and i are still going strong, and getting stronger as months, days, hours, minutes, seconds goes by ^^ anyway, no matter what the adults do, they cant break us off cause i've already made up my mind.. i want to be with him for the rest of my life.. i want to be his bride, his wife, his one and only love..

hmmm i guess i can only sleep after 11am.. people are coming to see this house.. cause my godfather has decided to sell this house away.. i guess selling this house away, means i wont be able to have my own room to sleep in anymore, and no more privacy, that also means no more late night calls with dear dear *cries*

hmmm but nevermind.. once i am free, i mean once i got my freedom back, i can go anywhere i like, and stay anywhere i want.. which means, i'm going to his house and stay!!! Yippee!! haha i cant wait for that day to come!!!!

anyway gotta go now.. to watch my 仙剑奇侠传 waiting for lao gong to call me and then sleeping later!!

Friday, August 3, 2007 &

I DECLARE WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!! today's just another crying day for me.. but im slowly getting stronger already.. i need to fight back.. i know i can do it.. because felix's there to cheer me on..^^ being with him is the happiest time of my life..i wont leave him and he wont leave me.. i feel so loved.. this is the first time in many years that i felt loved..

you can say that i've got family who loves me alot.. but i dont feel loved at all.. i just dont.. and i dont know why.. know that they do love me.. but i dont have that feeling at all.. only when im with him.. i can feel that like im in heaven.. i dont wish to come out of this sweet, sweet, lovely, romantic dream..

i know i did wrong today.. i shouldnt have doubt him.. but i just did.. i dont know what made me doubt him.. however, he didnt take it to heart cause he knows that im feeling really confused and sad and well, too many haha..im really sorry dear to doubt you.. really sorry..

the war is still going on.. i am NOT going overseas to study.. i am NOT going to leave my lao gong.. i am NOT going to let them break us up..^^

im fighting till the end till the day i win.. and im still fighting ^^

i have finally made up my mind.. im not gonna go overseas to study anymore.. this is rebellion time.. this is WAR!!!! how can they possibly fucking try to break us up?!?! WTF!!! i fucking HATE them like hell..

for the sake of my love life.. for the sake of him, i'm gonna be strong.. no, NOT im gonna be strong.. i HAVE to be strong.. i CANT give up now.. i need strength to fight back..FIGHT till the end..

no way am i giving up him just for them.. no way am i going to leave him.. i need him.. here in my life with me.. i need him to be with me when we walk our own sweet, romantic, loving path..i have to fight for my happiness.. i must NOT give up.. he's the second and last person i want to be with..

no matter what, i WONT leave him.. i will NEVER ever leave him cause i LOVE him!!!!!!

Thursday, August 2, 2007 &

im feeling sad, confused and at loss.. i dont wish to go Australia to study.. i dont want to leave him.. i love him too much to be apart from him.. i need him to be by my side every single day.. maybe im too dependent on him.. but only with him i can be myself, i can be happy.. cause he's the only person that can give me what i had lost long ago..

right now.. daddy is forcing me to go Australia to study for 3 years!! 3 YEARS!!!! WITHOUT HIM BY MY SIDE PUSHING ME ON!!!!! i dont think i can do it.. i cant bear to leave him.. he means too much to me.. but he said that studying is really important for my future career and promised me that he'll wait for my return.. so that we can be together forever.. build our love nest.. have our own kids and everything..

however.. this nightmare comes to me every single day,every single hour, minute, second.. im really afraid that i'd lose him to someone in the next 3 years.. i have faith in him.. i really do.. but these bad thoughts just keep coming back to me.. its haunting me..

i cant live without him i guess.. i really cant.. i need him in my life.. no one.. and i mean it NO ONE can seperate us.. life's really meaningless without him.. anyway.. if i really have to go Australia to study, im gonna give it my best shot.. so that i can come back earlier to be reunited with him.. my loved one.. my one and only one..

i love you always forever, near or far, closer together, everywhere i will be with you, everything i will do for you.. say you love and love forever, never stop, never whatever, near and far and always, everywhere and everything~~

i love you dear dear lao gong!!!!! no matter what we shall never be apart.. never!!!!!!!